Welcome, you sexy thing!

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Porn for Lesbians!



I was just reading Jenni Spinner's column in the Red Eye newspaper about how there is no good lesbian porn. I feel like this is a topic that comes up over and over again. Yes, most porn is made by men, for men, even the "girl/girl" kind. But that doesn't mean there isn't good lesbian-oriented porn out there! There is and you should buy it (if that is your thing) so the tiny companies that make them can make more. As we all know by now, the Porn industry is a money making machine, but most people don't realize that smaller independent companies (lesbian and straight) that treat their talent well and make some of the least-fake, most interesting movies are struggling little enterprises. We need to support them so we can continue to see things besides terribly-faked orgasms and unrealistic bodies.

Besides, of course, our movies Special Delivery, and Coming Home there is a lot of great movies that have real bodies, authentic sex and what we think of as a more realistic representation of sex. For your convenience, here is my top five list of HOT indie porn (all available at EtB, natch).

Urban Friction (Straight, but not narrow)
Crash Pad (Hot hot hot Dykes)
Hard Love (One of my personal favs. Dyke-made)
Slide Bi Me (OMG.. everyone is screwing everyone. Crazy!)
Suburban Dykes (Sharon Mitchell and Nina Hartley in an 80's dyke-made movie. No to be missed!)

So next time you (or someone you know) is out looking for porn that has less silicone-injected babes and hot, real sex, look for something independent. Sure, it costs a little more, but you can take heart in knowing that oyu are helping to keep indie porn alive!

xox, Searah

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Friday, June 29, 2007

I can't figure out....


... if I love these or hate these. Lord knows I love pussy & anatomical models... but these just seem kinda... icky...

Whatta think?


xo,
Searah

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Thursday, June 28, 2007

Extra-Super-Special Summer Workshops!

We don't normally hold workshops during the summer, but due to demand, we've decided to hold TWO of our most popular workshops in July! So come on down and learn some new skills!

Tickling Your Fancy
Tuesday, July 17th at 7:30pm | Instructor: Dimitra
In this workshop we will explore the intricacies of women's sexuality. We'll talk about the fascinating female anatomy, the nature of women's orgasms, masturbation tips & techniques, using sex toys and more! This is a great workshop for any woman interested in making her sex life even better.
*This workshop is for women only.*

Men Below the Belt
Tuesday, July 24th at 7:30pm | Instructor: Rebecca
This class starts by exploring the male anatomy and our feelings about it. After a brief lesson on pleasure points we move on to instructions for what makes a stellar handjob and then techniques to give a mind-blowing blowjob--all without gagging or getting a sore jaw! We'll even show you how to put a condom on without using your hands!
*This workshop is for women only*

These workshops are $15/$10 for students, and reservations are required. Register by calling us at 773-271-1219 or email us at workshops(at)early2bed.com. Workshops will be held at Early to Bed, 5232 N. Sheridan Rd. and are open to persons of all genders unless otherwise noted. Transpeople are always welcome.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Feminism & Porn!


Hi Folks,

I am just letting you know about a transcript of an awesome event that happened here in Chicago in the Spring. It was a screening of the movie Hot and Bothered followed by a discussion of feminism and porn. The movie was very insightful and the discussion was great. Lucky for you, the lovely organizer has transcribed the discussion and you can read it here!

xo,
Searah

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Survey says!

Come take our brand new survey! You can find it on this thing they're calling "the internets." I hear it's a series of tubes...

Anyway, check it out and tell us what you think of us!

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Monday, June 18, 2007

Learn your ABCs...

... of sexiness! We sent our Carnal Consultants the first four volumes of Alison Tyler's Alphabet Series to see what they thought of the stories... I won't spoil it for you-- read on!

A is for Amour
Review by Anna Pulley

The first in Cleis Press's Erotic Alphabet Series, A is for Amour is a slim volume of erotic short stories that straddle the line between love and lust. So often we disassociate the two, with love being seen as a kind of remainder, what's left over when the heat and passion of lust fade, only to be stowed away with the Celine Dion cds and Grandma's afghan in the basement. Which is why it's so refreshing to see love and lust bumping uglies again in this arousing collection of erotica. It portrays the intimacy and intensity that love can add to an already steamy sexcapade. A mostly hetero theme abounds, with one lesbian story, two bisexual tales and one straight-cum-gay (or surprise gay) cross-dressing, clandestine fantasy between old friends. A great train read, (The Red Eye? Dean Koontz? BOR-ing) A is for Amour has a light, rhythmic buoyancy that's unfettered by the usual grandiose shackles of love's intent. All the classics are there: love at first sight ("Arran's Lure"), unrequited love ("Strings"), the love that dare not speak its name ("My Sometimes Girlfriend," "All About Us") and even a little mustache love ("Parker's Mustache") about the facial hair of the narrator's brother-in-law, which she must keep from her husband in order to avoid another potentially hairy situation. The dialogue can be a bit campy, but that's to be expected. Dirty talk is similar to talking to your pets--it does not translate well outside of the immediate situation. So sentences like "She was already crooning her come song as I yelled, 'Here I come right inside you, baby!'" can come off as silly on the printed page, but if you can get past some of the loopier monologues, the stories are often quite provocative, peppered with vulgar witticisms and rambunctious sparring. The plot was unobtrusive, meaning it didn't detract from the explicit nature of the stories and covered a range of illicit affairs to good ol' terry cloth robe monogamy, though nearly every story ended with "the most orgasms I've ever had in my life" scenarios, which seemed contrived after a while.

One of the stumbling blocks I often face with erotica is due to my English major-y, analytical background, which I can't really turn off (as much of a turn-off as it is). This condition causes me to notice things like subject-verb agreement and cliche, fauxetic language that can interfere with overall arousal. In "Arran's Lure," for instance, the narrator exclaims, "He drove the length of his cock inside her, filling her to overfull." Filling her to overfull? That's like saying he fucked her till she was fucked out. Then a few sentences later, she throws in some old English. "'Tell me now, what do you want?' he asked, whilst he screwed her from behind." Methinks words like "whilst," "thither" and "yore" do not belong in contemporary erotica, unless it involves time traveling or a King Arthur fetish. In "Le Petit Dejeuner," a couple tries to make their Cleveland, Ohio home resemble Paris, where they first fell in love. The author slowly begins replacing English words with French ones, creating a lexicon of unerotic deal breakers in the process, especially when he starts referencing genitalia. "She takes hold of my baguette, where a drop of creme has already appeared." Picturing these sad Midwesterners in their berets and turtlenecks made me want to reach for the straight razor, not the vibrator. Though in "The Blonde in 1812," Thomas Roche turns the rules of diction to his advantage when he tries to seduce a beautiful stranger in a hotel. After revealing that he is a writer, the blonde apologizes for ending her last sentence in a preposition. "You should never end a sentence with a proposition," he says, playfully tweaking her apology into foreplay.

Having authored more than twenty erotic novels, Alison Tyler clearly knows a thing or two about keeping the ink well slick and her story "Above You" was my favorite in the collection. Without taking itself too seriously, A is for Amour proves that while love may be blind, it doesn't hurt to also be blindfolded. Plus, any book of erotica that quotes both Shakespeare and The Cure in the same page gets my vote any day.

Stories and authors included in this anthology are:
Arran's Lure by Saskia Walker
Strings by Tenille Brown
All about Us by Radclyffe
An Unexpected Love Story by Brooke Stern
The Blonde in 1812 by Thomas S. Roche
Parker’s Mustache by Jolene Hui
Le Petit Dejeuner by Jeremy Edwards
Sharing the Love by Tsaurah Litzky
Toys by Michael Hemmingson
An Ordinary Love by R. Gay
My Sometimes Girlfriend by Kate Laurie
Above You by Alison Tyler

B is for Bondage
Review by Loretta

B Is For Bondage is a very cute book. It is tiny- less than 7"x5"- the perfect size to hide behind other more boring books while on the El. It's the second in a series of eight (so far) collections that focus on a theme. First, I want to talk about the stories, then the book as a whole.

"Silver Bells and Cockleshells" by Shanna Germain starts out the book. In this story, a woman dominates her client, a once-a-year sexual experience in the sun that revolves around a vegetable garden. I applaud the unorthodox setting, and loved the various uses for vegetables and vines, but I find the idea of a woman paid to cultivate a garden and dominate a man but once a year to be unrealistic, and it took away from the overall impact.
Two lesbians watching Election Night 2004 get off on Republicanism in "Transfixed, Helpless, and Out of Control" by Charlie Anders. The unnamed narrator dominates Lexa through "transgressive sex as an act of resistance" by shouting at her all the horrible things the new administration will do, while spanking, fingering, and sticking a dildo in Lexa's ass. This was hot and funny the first time, but left me feeling depressed, politically.
"Pervertable" by Mathilde Madden follows a younger male as he gets his first taste of the gay bdsm club with his middle-aged mentor. This tale features a great scene with the men shopping at a hardware store, and then a pet store, and our young narrator imagining all the ways to turn the things on the shelves into sex toys. Hot action, with plenty of whipping.
Japanese rope bondage is the subject of "Shinju" by Teresa Noelle Roberts. Thomas uses Juliette as a model at a fetish party. There is a beautiful sense of Juliette struggling to be an impassive mannequin fighting her desire to orgasm from the ropes and the exhibitionism. This one is romantic, with a lovely anticipation for her orgasm.
Sarah DeMuci's "Time for a Spanking" features an unnamed heterosexual pair. The female is stretched out on a specially-built spanking bench, getting pushed to her limits. Personally, I felt uncomfortable with the amount of crying and painful- not sexy- pain that the heroine seemed to be in.
"The Pillar of St Vitus" in Prague is the setting for the story by L.A. Mistral. Brenda and her boyfriend Jess visit a church's crypt and use a pillar that was used for punishment as their playground. A bit lighter on bondage and a bit heavy on religious imagery
"Pearls of Wisdom" by Cynthia Rayne stars Ms. Whitford, an artist interested in her friend's model, Candace. This tragic little piece is about how trust may extend to cuffs and knives, but not to secrets and pasts. The plot is more interesting than the sex- which isn't to say these two are boring in bed, but I left this story wanting to know more about the model, rather than wanting to reach for my vibe.
Barrett uses a belt to punish his emotionally absent girlfriend Lynne in Charles Brasso's "The Consequences of Her Actions." This one had me yelling my emotional safeword and mentally ending the story with therapy for the couple.
P.S. Haven's "Westbound" is about a woman who leaves her husband and gets her hand stuck in her bumper on the highway. She offers oral sex to a garage employee- Richie- to free her from her "accidental bondage." Less intense on the bondage, and the author is vague as to who is in charge- is the woman topping from the bottom, or is she in charge despite her confines?
Bianca and Alexander have sex on art in "Promise of Submission" by T.C. Calligari. Bianca, who has never had a satisfying sexual experience, discovers the pleasure of admitting she needs Alex physically, and has her first real experience with sexual longing. This one was hot, with Bianca getting tied to the bed.
"Good Marketing" by Bryn Haniver takes place in a future where sexual experiences can be ordered at a simulation club. Ginny has several bisexual fantasies while strapped to a chair- spread eagle. This was pretty neat, certainly creative, and exciting except for the part where Ginny is brought the brink of orgasm at the thought of getting caught in a school of fish.
The final story, told by editor Alison Tyler, is called "Safe," features an unnamed woman handed off from her boyfriend Jack to another dom, who uses a crop on her. Soon, Jack is demanding she use her safeword, and she gets a sense of power from refusing to use it, instead submitting to blows from this strange man. This was another story that questions the power dynamic, and is a bit more romantic, with no sex. I thought it was a sweet way to end the book.

Overall, I enjoyed this cute little book. It has many things going for it- a mix of couples and races and relationships between the characters. This book really does show that "bondage is in the eye of the beholder" because all the stories feature different types of bondage- emotional, physical, even spiritual. This is not cookie-cutter BDSM, where all the stories feature the same mind play and the same whips and all that tired stuff. I thought several of these authors took some chances, and while it didn't always work for me, I applaud the effort. Even when the stories were not my cuppa tea, I thought they were all very well written.

However, I do have a few reservations that are preventing me from buying Tyler's entire back catalogue. While there was a mix of couples, it bothered me that, with the exception of the two lesbian couples, there was only one straight couple where the woman was in charge. There was also only the briefest mention of transpeople, playing in the background at a party. There were far more straight couples than other pairings. I would prefer a book with more types of couples and experiences, or less- so there is less of a token feel to the mix. Overall, a fun collection, with at least a few stories that will capture the hearts (and genitals) of everyone.


C is for Coeds
Review by Jack Hyde

I remember someone at college describing September as Freshman rutting season. Finally freed from the constraints of parental supervision, the Frosh got it on with great abandon. College life is filled with sexual excitement and experimentation, and C is for Coeds brings us stories about these extra-curricular activities.

This is a "something for everyone" collection. Most of the twelve stories feature hetero sex, but there's a gay story, a lesbian story, a few characters of color, and even some older people. There's a lot of spanking in these stories, so if you're into that, you'll find a lot to enjoy.

Here's a synopsis of each story in C is for Coeds:
Sugar - Awkward guy finds girl who likes to be spanked, rises to the occasion.
Your Wish Is My Command - Girls dress in bondage gear, put on show (including spanking), discover they like it.
Mo - Male grad student meets undergrad woman through the Internet; they have lots of oral sex.
This Week - Female undergrad enjoys weekly spankings by her male professor.
Cunnilingus 101 - Guy hooks up with crush for lessons in licking.
Shady Ways -Nice girl seduced by roommate's boyfriend.
College Reunion -Hetero couple return for reunion, escape to library for spanking and sex.
Janelle’s Spankology 101 -Girl gets invited by her roommate to spank roommate's bound boyfriend--d more.
I Wanted Him to Feel It -Gay guy seduces straight guy and teaches him how men do it.
Call Me Jenny -Mom seduces son's college friend, made spicier by Christian guilt.
While She Was Dancing -Girl dresses in roommate's lingerie, gets busy with roommate's boyfriend.
On Finding Jon's Porn -Girl borrows guy's computer, finds porn, guy returns and life imitates art (including some spanking, of course).

My favorite story in C is for Coeds is "While She Was Dancing." The narrator is a young woman confessing to having done some sexual things she shouldn't have. At first, it's unclear to whom she is confessing, but it's definitely not a priest. I found the narrator charming. Her coy description of her escapades was funny and sexy at the same time.

"While She Was Dancing" kept kicking the sexiness to a higher level with each new revelation. It reminded me of one of my favorite Anais Nin stories, the one about the Cuban artist and someone else's nymphomaniac wife (the first tale in "Artists and Models" in the collection Delta of Venus). The characters in both stories achieve incredible levels of sexual excitement, levels unattainable except on rare occasions for most of us. What's amazing is that "While She Was Dancing" goes on for over 20 pages and sustains the sexual excitement throughout.

I enjoyed reading almost all of the stories in C is for Coeds. Most of them took the trouble to create interesting and believable characters. A few of them were told in distinct narrative voices. Most importantly, almost all of them got me hot. And with erotica, that's what it' all about.


D is for Dress-Up
Review by Sex Toy Goddess

D is for Dress-Up. It's also for a deliciously desirable dominatrix who dabbles in dressing up her dudes. And that's just one story, my friends! This is one fun little book that explores how dressing up can arouse you in ways you never knew possible! It's tiny, which means it can easily pack to be brought anywhere you want it to be. It is titillating, and explores various taboos, fantasy play, fetishes, and is just the right mix of believability and suspension of reality. A wonderful plus to this book is that there are stories of all kinds, so you are bound (sometimes quite literally) to find something that gets you going.

There are two stories in particular that I found to be incredibly erotic. "Rags to Riches," and "The Mysterious Affair at Styles." "Rags to Riches" is a twist on every painter's wet dream. The classic case of painting the exterior of a house, dreaming of fucking the sexy woman who lives inside, and then one day being lucky enough to make that fantasy a reality. This time, however, the painter is a sexy, strong woman, and the rich woman who lives inside fucks her because she wants to wear the sweaty, paint-spattered clothes that her new lover wears. And of course, the story wouldn't be complete without the painter swapping out her work clothes with the designer dresses she's never before had the desire to wear that wait for her inside the massive closet...

"The Mysterious Affair at Styles" is a seriously hot read. I will not give away all the secrets here, but I will tell you that it is a man who is at the most heightened level of sexual arousal he's ever been in. He is NOT in charge. He is being topped by a secret lover--a woman who punishes him in ways he never imagined, and he does not question her. This is a story for any woman who has ever wanted to top her man and needed a clear path of how this might look. Not for the faint of heart, though.

I enjoyed this book, and suggest reading it one story at a time. It's not meant to be read cover-to-cover. And if you're like me, you'll have memorized the pages of your favorite scenes in no time at all. Who knew dressing up could be so fun!?

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Friday, June 15, 2007

Carnal Consultant Review

Remote Control Waterproof Bullet (AKA "Elizabeth")
Reviewed by Loretta

I was talking on the phone with my boyfriend one afternoon. His mind was elsewhere; I think he was daydreaming.

"Oh by the way, I got a new toy in mail."

"Oh?" he said, his interest clear. "

"Two words: Remote. Control."


From there I did not have his attention, because his daydreams now included a remote control vibrator in public places. The next time I saw him, I showed him the new toy. His eyes lit up like I offered him a winter holiday in summer. We immediately opened the package, inserted the 23 A 12 V battery (included) in the remote, and the two AAA batteries (also included) into the bullet vibe. The package showed a bored girl (they always look bored) with the antennae sticking out of her underwear, the person with the remote hidden away. I stuck the vibe in my underwear. It is smoothly plastic, but stayed in place rather well. After some foreplay, I handed him the remote. Visions of using this remote in grocery store, in the park, and in the movie theatre all flashed before his eyes. Then, he flipped the switch... And this vibe is loud! This is clearly not intended for public places. Sorry to ruin the fantasy. The package claims that the remote worked up to 25 feet away. We experimented, and it worked around corners, through walls and doors. Fun!


The downside to this vibe is this: There is one setting, and one setting only. For me, the vibe absolutely got me off, but I needed to move it around, play with the pressure on my clit. This goes against the design a bit: I cannot get off just leaving it in my underwear like the bored box model. The other problem was that a dab of Slippery Stuff- a lube I would want with me if I could only bring five CDs and one lube to a desert island- had the vibe no longer staying in place, which also seemed to defeat the purpose. All in all, this was a fun vibe. It can be awesome to be in a different room from your lover and have him or her in control of the vibrations. I have to admit, I was dubious to the claims on the box, but I now believe in remote control vibrators!

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Thursday, June 14, 2007

Carnal Consultant Review!

G-Rock
Review by Sex Toy Goddess

I was so excited to open my new toy--a G-Rock!!! I had always wanted a curved vibrator like this that is angled for both clitoral stimulation and also G-spot stimulation. What could be better?! Why ever leave the house, right? Wrong! I wanted so badly to love this vibrator... But it was just not meant to be. I tried, really, I did! But apparently this "ergonomically shaped for a woman's body" vibe wasn't shaped for MY body.

Overall, the look and feel is nice. It is made out of smooth silicone, which I love. It's a pretty lavender color, and is shaped like a cobra-head on one end. (Since I used to own a snake that part was a nice jog down memory lane. Ahhh... Just what you want in a vibrator--a memory of a reptile!) ANYWAY... The box touts it as being soft and flexible. My experience was that it was more floppy than flexible. And I don't know about you ladies, but when I want to come from a toy, "floppy" is not the first adjective I look for, you know what I mean?

The detractors for me far outweighed the positives. The mini bullet vibe they include is great in theory, but terrible in reality. It does nothing and you can barely feel it. So, this might be a nice choice for someone new into vibrators, or someone with an extra-sensitive clit who wants the hint of vibration, as opposed to say... feeling the actual vibration. Like, watching an IMAX movie about hang-gliding instead of actually hang-gliding in the actual air. Every time I tried to use this vibrator I would end up so frustrated that I would grab another toy just to finish the job. I was not impressed.

So, maybe my cunt isn't ergonomically shaped for this particular vibe. Maybe yours is. Maybe I'm just a size queen. Maybe you aren't. If that's the case, enjoy! :) But you might want to have your usual stash at the ready, just in case....

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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Carnal Consultant Review--Flogger Molly

Flogger Molly
Review by Anna Pulley

Flogging has been around forever--it's in the Bible (1 Kings 12:11) and had garnered quite a lot of hype even before Jesus got the party started by turning water into wine. It's surprising then that flogging as a form of inflicting pleasure gets so little attention. Part of this is due to confusing language--what's the difference between a whip, a scourge, a cat o' nine, a flogger, a cudgel? All do basically the same thing, (settle arguments with in-laws) yet all have drastically different intents and results.

Some people think you have to join a dungeon or have criminal tendencies to enjoy the benefits of a good flogging, whether giving or receiving, but this is not the case. On the contrary, the complex pleasure of enduring, witnessing, causing or sharing another's pain can be a pretty amazing experience. A much more gratifying kind of pain than, say, stubbing a toe or walking into a glass door, pain that you actually want (to inflict or endure) is a different beast altogether, a sexy beast, which is why floggers like Molly come in so handy in a pinch (or when you're tired of being pinched). A 12-inch mini flogger with 18 3/8 inch tails, Molly is a perfect toy for beginner flog-ers and flog-ees. Made with a very soft, supple and sensual leather, Molly offers a terrific pop, with little sting and almost no thud. (that sounds like a dirty Rice Krispies commercial)


A great genital or chest whip, mini floggers are kinder and gentler implements of skin sensation, meaning they won't leave irreparable damage, unlike riding crops or listening to a lot of Mariah Carey. In general, the more tails, the more bite a flogger will have, so mini floggers are good for testing out the waters of your pain tolerance. If you start slow and work your way up to it, you might be surprised at how much flogging you can handle (though try to avoid hitting bone, joints or organs). And as much fun as it is to flog solo (you decide which pocket to carry the black hankie in), the impact of the experience is best when more than one person is on board. With most kinds of erotic punishment, the symbolism involved in power play is just as important, if not more so, than the action itself. Molly's got the symbolism-- the smooth, taunting feel of leather raked over skin, the fringe benefits and a great sounding board. There's something really satisfying about the popping sound made during a good spanking, whipping or flogging. It's like having a gift card that endlessly renews. Mmm.


Molly's size is anything but intimidating for first-time floggers. Indeed, it's probably smaller than your average soccer mom's keychain and can be easily stowed and carried for impromptu punishment. I didn't even get questioned when I took Molly through airport security, though my 3.5 oz sunscreen was confiscated. Long story short, Molly packs a definite punch, but one that won't leave you reeling or knock you unconscious.

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Thursday, June 7, 2007

Carnal Consultant Review!

The Love Pacifier
Review by ELR

I was fairly drunk, sitting on the steps of a shuttered bar, shooting the shit with old friends. Joel is a long-haired truck driver from the North Side who shares an equal passion for Britney Spears and Slayer. Megan is a sexy, fat chick who periodically calls off her engagement to make out with everyone at the bar's open mic. Somehow, the conversation turns to sex toys and Joel gets all excited when I tell him about a cock ring I just bought.

"Oh shit, I think I've got that. Dude, you have got to come over to my house sometime and see my magic box. I've got this chest on top of my dresser full of shit like that."

Megan looks on, hanging jaw, incredulous. In part, it's because her off-again fiancee doesn't really feel comfortable with her having sex toys, definitely doesn't have any of his own, and certainly wouldn't invite his drinking buddies over to see them if he did. That's not all though. She's never heard any two guys talk about sex toys with one another, and, now that I think about it, neither have I.

It was a relief, like we'd found out we were both members of some secret clandestine organization that a lot of guys still didn't belong to. Joel and I compared whips and vibrators and cock rings and whatnot, but stopped short at butt plugs. Maybe he has one, or even some. I know I do, but I also know that I'm not going to bring it up, at least not if he doesn't first. Maybe, somewhere on this planet, heterosexual men talk about things they've bought just to shove up their asses, but I can't imagine such a place. There's something in the very idea of butt plugs that crosses the line in my mind from straight guy who knows how to get off to guy who is kinda gay. This was my first thought when I was handed the box for the "Love Pacifier".

My second thought, which came when I saw the packaging, was directly at odds with the first. In big, bold, Northwestern-purple letters on the front of the box, the word "Beginner". It's another kind of stupid, masculine trait of mine, but I took the word as a sort of challenge, like I'm not a beginner at nothin', and if I'm gonna shove something up my ass, then I'm gonna be able to fit ANYTHING up there! Remote controls, baseball bats, small mountains, Vroombas... anything will fit, nothing is safe!

So with renewed vigor, I took the Love Pacifier to my girlfriend's house and... I couldn't get it to fit. Not "I got it in even though I shouldn't have, and now I'm gonna be sore." No. I mean that I couldn't get it in, in that the probe was so wide at the tip that I couldn't get it inside me. I tried, my girlfriend tried, but try as we did, most of it remained outside my ass. Despite the fact that I really did have a beginner's ass, the toy's shape didn't help. Instead of a hard flared base to hold onto, the love pacifier was just a ball with a long, floppy rubber neck and a handle. Perhaps this would have been fun if I had more experience in this area, but as it was, it was kind of annoying and certainly not suitable for a lubed-up novice.

I like the idea of the literal term pacifier for a sex toy, but the corollary image of an infant's plaything squigs me out a bit. Perhaps the most joy I derived from the Love Pacifier had to do with the back story I imagined for the product, where an Xed out candy raver sticks a pacifier (a real one) up his ass to feel good during his trip, and decides to market it when he comes to.

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Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Two Free Events This Week!

In-Store Pleasureware Party
Tuesday, June 5th at 7:30pm
Join us for a PleasureWare party in our shop! Sip on cocktails while learning about some of our hottest toys and all the fun things you can do with them! This even is free, but reservations are required.

Special Delivery DVD Release Party!

Come help us celebrate the release of our second dyke erotic film, Special Delivery!

Wednesday, June 6th at 10pm
Berlin Nightclub
954 W Belmont

21 and over only. No cover.

We will be showing the movie, and party-goers will be able to buy it at a special price!




Monday, June 4, 2007

Top Three Masturbation Haikus!

Here's the moment you've all been waiting for...

In third place, winning a 100ml bottle of our favorite lube, Liquid Silk...

Glistening like a
ridiculous pink trophy

my dildo triumphs
By Ruby

In second place, winning a copy of our brand new movie, Special Delivery...

sharp, sweet on my tongue
left hand awkward on my clit
i switched hands to taste

By Maria & Jacob

And finally, in first place, winning a $40 gift certificate to Early to Bed...

I really don't know
What came over me last night

Oh wait, it was me

By Alexander the Poet


Congratulations to our winners, our finalists, and to everyone who participated!! You made our first annual Self-Love Haiku Contest a rousing success!!!


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