Andrew Blake is Not a Dyke
Last week, I attempted to watch Andrew Blake's porn film Blond & Brunettes. I say "attempted" because I didn't even get half way through the film and I didn't get off. I didn't get turned on. What I did get was really annoyed.
I have no judgments around what turns people on and can totally acknowledge that what gets me hot is not the same as what makes the next guy reach for the Slippery Stuff. If you're looking for a film to loop in the background of a upscale cocktail sex party, Blond & Brunettes might be a worthwhile rental. The imagery is crisp and sleek and I appreciated the black and white shots that opened the film, but it went downhill from there. If you get off on still fashion photography, then this might do the trick for you. The women that Blake chooses are fashion model types- if they have boob jobs, they're good boob jobs, ya know.
As I watched what I began to think of as a glammed-up Playboy mag on film instead of in print, I became increasingly agitated with the way in which Blake's work reinforces stereotypes about sex between women. Call me old fashioned, but I want some fucking in my porn. I want something that could believably lead to orgasm. I want something with erotic tension. Blake's work is flat. I can only assume that he finds it impossible to conceive of explosive sex without cocks. The pouty faced women on the screen undulated their hips and excruciatingly slowly rubbed their manicured fingers over their vulvas. That's it. That's a fine place to start a scene. That is not a fine place to be forty minutes into the movie. This is what I assume a lot of straight guys mean when they say they want girl-on-girl porn and what I think the bicurious women on craigslist might imagine when they post 'i'm femme, you be too. my boyfriend will watch.'
Unlike Justine, another film of Blake's which I found slow and long but somewhat sexy, Blond & Brunettes makes an attempt at a plot. Where Justine has no attempt at character development and includes alot of scissors and ripping of panty hose, Blond & Brunettes is the story of a woman who has a brief encounter with another women and her erotic slaves and then can't erase the memory of the experience and becomes fixed on her because the experience was so powerful. The thing is, what the film represents as this intense, compelling experience is nothing. NOTHING! It doesn't show these women as active. They appear as practically still objects. They press their fingers against their clits and pose. And press a finger against each other's nipple and pose. I don't even think anyone at any point leaves their perch on their high heels for reclining or more fuck-able position. The main character is so overwhelmed by all of the feelings and desire churning in her ( to quote- "all that she has seen and heard and done") that she rushes out of the scene.
I'm like, "Are you fucking kidding me?" and reach for the off button on the remote.
The box describes this film as being about "the rich, beautiful, and sexually perverse." Rich? Sure. Beautiful? Yeah, in a traditional kinda way. Sexually perverse? Come on, now, puhleese! Andrew Blake, I object your nomination in the pervert club. Dear readers, If you're looking for real femme on femme bondage and fetish play, I'd check out Belladonna's Fetish Fantastic #2, Bondage Boobtube, or The Black Glove and The Elegant Spanking instead.
XOXO,
Lee
Labels: porn
posted by Searah @ 2:05 PM
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