Yikes!

So.... if you don't know already, Early to Bed has a no-anal-desensitizing-cream policy. We feel that any pain in your ass while playing with it is you body's way of letting you know to slow down, use more lube and maybe take the action down a notch, so you should be aware of what is going on back there. We know lots of people use stuff like anal-ese and such, but we always caution against it for the safety reasons (pain in your butthole often = tearing). But personally, it gets my feminist hackles in a bunch too. Lots and lots of women who I have talked to want anal-ese or the sort because they are pressured by their partners into having anal sex when they don't really want it. Now, of course lots of us do things for our partners that we might not choose to do if not asked, but it seems to me that WAY too many women endure something like painful anal sex to make their partner happy and that makes me mad and sad.

Anyway.. the whole point of this is that not only is the use of anal desensitizing creams problematic (for a bunch of reasons), but now they are marketing this one as a secret. Shhh.... don't tell you lover that he is hurting you... WTF?!?!

If someone makes you feel really good- tell 'em to keep going! And if someone is hurting you- tell 'em to stop! Why keep it a secret from your partner that he (of she) is causing you pain? No one should never have to do this and by marketing this specifically to women, they are just continuing the standard of women being the sexual objects, not empowered subjects. And come on... it is cherry flavored... is that because people believe that women's asses taste like cherry? I mean, how else are you going to keep the cherry-flavored gel a secret...

There are so many ways to make anal sex fun & painless without using numbing creams and risking tearing your ass. We have some good info about it on our website here (look towards the bottom).

And if you want to know the secret to great anal "intimacy", I'll tell you. It's not numbing creams, it is Communication, Lube and DESIRE!

xoxox,

Searah